What Is Anxiety and How Can I Handle It? New Perspectives

Let's talk about anxiety! One of the therapeutic lenses that I practice from is Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP). This model has a great tool called the Change Triangle that comes from AEDP therapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel's work - the information in this post is a small snapshot of this concept. You can find her work here - highly recommend giving it a read.

Let’s talk about emotions

In a nutshell, humans have 7 core emotions: joy, fear, sadness, disgust, anger, excitement, and sexual excitement. They are typically experienced as physical sensations in the body. Core emotions are adaptive and provide us with the information we need to know about our environment so that we can survive but also thrive. Thriving is when we are wholehearted and connected to ourselves - which occurs when we are able to feel our emotions and use the information they give us for our betterment.

 What is anxiety?

Sometimes, we are unable to fully experience our core emotions, and that's where anxiety comes in. Often times, it shows up to protect us from being overwhelmed by strong emotions. This can be adaptive, like when you are at work and cannot afford to ride the wave of anger or sadness in the moment. The problem comes if we never dip below the anxiety to engage with those core emotions and let them run their course. We can get stuck in feeling anxious, which comes with all kinds of symptoms that can be both physically and emotionally distressing.

 How to manage your anxiety

What can be helpful is learning to notice anxiety as a cue that there are core emotions underneath that are asking for attention. In my experience, it's often fear, anger, and sadness.

When you notice you're feeling anxious:

• Pause and take a moment to breathe

• Notice the sensations that come up in your body, which are clues to which core emotions you might be feeling

• Listen to what the emotion is telling you without judging it - feelings are just information

• Think about how best to proceed

Taking time to pause, notice, listen, and think can create the space to connect with yourself and let your emotions give you the information you need to shake off the anxiety.

Not sure how to do that, or how to stay with strong emotions and process them? I love to do this work with clients, and I'd love to support you, too. Connect with me here to book a session.

Rest and Rejuvenation: How Play Can Help You Recharge

As we move through the holiday season, with many folks getting some much needed time off, it’s important to think about how we can use this time to get the most out of our break. How can rest and rejuvenation help? I’m so glad you asked.

I recently shared a post (by @RevDaniel) where he discussed some sage advice he received before taking a leave of absence: there is a difference between rest and rejuvenation. The analogy he used was the difference between unplugging and charging: unplugging simply means you’re not draining your battery; rejuvenation is something different. Both are important, but they are not the same.

Rest and rejuvenation are not the same

Rest is something we tend to be more familiar with: we know it involves slowing down and taking a pause or unplugging from some of the more strenuous, everyday demands we are faced with. Trisha Hersey of @thenapministry puts it this way: Rest is anything that slows you down enough to allow your body and mind to connect in the deepest way. Maybe that means a nap, or a taking a walk in nature. Or it could mean spending time on the couch, listening to your favourite music, or turning off all your devices so that you aren’t on call or connected for a while.

So what is rejuvenation, and how is it different from rest?

Simply, the Oxford definition of rejuvenation is “the action or process of giving new energy or vigor to something”. One of the best ways to engage in rejuvenation is through play. We can think about play as something that is purposeless, all-consuming, and fun; something we do for the sake of enjoyment with no other goal. We often think that play is for kids, but it’s actually just as important for adults – play helps us to flourish. The act of engaging in play is what rejuvenates and helps to recharge our batteries, and get our joy and energy back. (There’s also a growing body of research for how and why play is a biological imperative for humans, associated with things from higher intelligence, to social skills development, to problem solving – check out Dr. Stuart Brown’s work on play for more information).

Ways to rejuvenate

So what might rejuvenation through play look like for you? Think about the things you get lost in doing – the activities you perhaps loved when you were younger and could spend time doing for hours. Think about the things that bring you joy, that you do for no other reason than that they are fun. It can be hard to think about doing things that aren’t “productive”, but this is exactly the type of activities our brains and bodies need to feel recharged again.

Play activities could look like:

·         Playing a sport

·         Playing an instrument – solo or with others

·         Having a games night with friends or family

·         Creating art of any kind: painting, crafting, knitting, collage

·         Anything that makes you belly laugh – going to a comedy or improv show, or watching your favourite funny movies or TV series

·         Cooking or baking

·         Getting outdoors in nature

·         Building something out of Lego

·         Swimming

The key to rejuvenation is finding ways to engage in play that is meaningful for you. Think about something that’s fun, that allows you to get into a flow state where you can lose track of time. Rest can help you to pause and catch your breath; play will get your batteries recharged again.

What kind of play activities will help you rejuvenate this season?

If this post resonates with you, but you need some support to figure out what rest, rejuvenation and play look like for you, connect with me! These are goals I can support you with. Click here to book a session or email me at laurel@yorkpsychology.org.